Emotions

Where I left off....

Kadesh was so good. The whole weekend was about where we are at with God, and what are the things that get in the way. It highlighted that things that get in the way (idols) can even be good things that we just get too attached to: security, ministry fruit (where were are looking to much in that direction instead of being focused on God), approval. I know that I seek approval too much, I want everyone to like me, but am a jealous friend. I also know that I can lean too much on security here on earth instead of the real security in Jesus. I love my husband dearly, but sometimes I cling on to him too much, and make him everything, which is unfair to him and wrong of me. Don't get me wrong, we need to work together as a unit, be as one in our relationship, but in that oneness, togetherness, God & Jesus should bind us together and be the core of the relationship.

This last week has definately been draining, emotionally & physically. God has definately been trying to get my attention. And I have to admit that I have been trying to ignore His hints. I love God, and in following Jesus that means I have to trust Him. That hasn't been easy this week. He is asking me to delve in to an area full of pain, hurt and anger. Sometimes I am too good at putting things in boxes. But I know that if I don't deal with it, it'll fester and get worse. Please could you pray for me. I really need patience, forgiveness and a real whole bucket load of love, that I just don't have, I am thankful that God does though, please pray that He provides all this and more during this process.

On a lighter note, WE'RE GOING HOME TO VISIT IN MAY! Scrimping and saving can be hard, but it will be SO worth it! Can't express how excited I am. Highlights will be spending time with my family (especially Ben), and getting to hang out with my best friend Hannah - cos I miss her.
I am already praying for good weather;-)

This weekend is Thanksgiving, so Monday is a Bank Holiday (YAY). So far it has been fairly easy going. I spent 1hr 15mins (I think) on the phone to my bro, I am so glad we have cheap rates. I think that we are gonna watch a movie once the Rider game is done, I am guessing it is going well as I have heard positive noise rising from downstairs.