OK, I really want to make a few things clear. Be prepared for a rant. And for this to be a little random.
I believe that Jesus is the Christ, that he is the Messiah. He is my best friend. I know he loves me, I am grateful that he loves me, warts and all. Depression and all.
There is something that has been bugging me for a while now, that I find it hard to voice.
Depression, the huge, big, fat, elephant in the room for many people.
Now, as most of my friends and acquaintances know, I am not scared to share with people about my struggle with depression. It's an illness I have. Plus sometimes I let my mouth run away with itself and don't know when to shut it;-)
What is beginning to irk me more and more is the attitude people have about depression and mental health. I'm sick of it being a taboo in Christian circles, like it's a dirty secret to ignore. My heart is sore that there are people who are ashamed of asking for help from their Christian community because they've been told it is 'sinful' to have this issue. It makes me down right angry that people are made to feel guilty for having an illness.
Something inside me isn't wired right. Sometimes I have an emotional breakdown. That's where the Dr comes in, part of the treatment I need is medication. Medication that helps fix my 'wiring' problem. Lots of people take daily medication for many different illnesses. No one thinks any less of someone who is a diabetic or asthmatic, why then look differently at someone with depression?
Depression can be debilitating. It can emotionally paralyze you. I have had days when getting in the shower has been such an overwhelming task that I've been a huddled mess of a ball in my bed. I don't need anyone else to make me feel bad about myself, I beat myself up enough thank you.
I am grateful that God's grace covers me. I am glad that He knows that my faith in Him is not in question. When I am in my darkest place, I have a best friend that holds me close and carries me through the raging storm. When lies are yelling in my head I hear a still small voice telling me truth. When I question my worth, God blesses me with people who reveal my treasure.
My heart breaks for the people who have to hide their illness, that are forced by others to wear a mask.
When depression is hidden, ignored, made to be something shameful... it aggravates the problem. When it is accepted, faced, dealt with.... that's when healing can happen. That's when you can learn to live with it, when you can live your life to the full , when depression is still an issue but not something that dictates your entire life.
'Every breath you take, every day you wake up, in this danger zone, put your war face on. Future I hear you calling, I'm on my way I'm running. There's no stopping me, it's in my heart, it's in my soul.
Listen to the things they say, turn the other cheek and hold faith, you know that I promise brighter days will come. Even when they try to hurt you, keep your head up and walk through, the future is on you, it's on you. No regrets, no holds barred, NO HOLDING BACK FROM WHO WE ARE. Though they try and break us, this is our wake up, who we are, who we are.'
No Regrets (Who We Are) - City Boy Soul.